Are You Worth It?
Here’s my daily newsletter navigating the crossroads of business, growth, and life.
If you love this content (please share it), but also…
At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want." - Lao Tzu
We all want to feel accepted. To fit in. To be liked. It's human nature.
But that desire can lead us down the wrong path if we let validation depend on outside factors. On people and systems over which we have no control.
Trying to shape yourself to gain others' approval is no way to live.
I used to make this mistake all the time. I'd work tirelessly on a project, slaves to metrics and vanity numbers. Scrambling for likes, followers, and shares.
All while feeling completely empty inside.
It took me years to realize I had it backward. I was handing my sense of self-worth over to the crowd. Letting faceless usernames and figures on a screen determine my confidence, passion, and purpose.
Giving away my power.
Of course we all want some external validation. But when your mood, motivation, and mission depend on forces outside yourself, you're setting yourself up for disaster.
The poet John O'Donohue wrote:
“Your own positive self-regard lies at the heart of all excellence and all happiness.”
Not other people's positive regard for you. Your self-regard.
When you base your worth on outside approval, you face a constant battle. Because no matter your success, you'll never please everyone. There will always be critics, haters, contrarians.
Trying to shift that many personal realities is hopeless.
So stop trying. Stop twisting yourself to fit an ever-moving target.
The goal posts will never stop moving. You'll drive yourself crazy playing that game.
So how to reclaim your power? Here are 3 tactics:
1. Tune out spotlight chasers. Stop monitoring hype measures like follower counts, link clicks, book sales. Let your work speak for itself. You'll drive yourself crazy playing the viral lottery.
2. Lean into critics. Don't hide from negative feedback. Hear it, process it, extract insights if you can. But don't let faceless haters control you.
3. Define your own metrics. Forget outside benchmarks for influence or impact. Get clear on what you want to create in this world. Design projects that move you.
"At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want." - Lao Tzu
The answer lies within. Not on comment threads or Twitter feeds.
Here's the simple truth:
No one else gets to decide if you're worthy.
Not your boss, your mentor, your mom, your third grade nemesis.
It's time to take back your power. To define your own finish line, make your own rules.
Sure, easier said than done. But the more you practice self-trust and self-acceptance, the easier it gets.
You might feel scared at first. Vulnerable. Exposed. But soon you'll feel something better. Something money can't buy.
So tune out the spotlight and tune into your soul. Let fulfillment come from within.
That's where you'll find the keys to the kingdom. The only validation that truly matters.